I just wanted to get a little about how I am feeling out there, as in the earlier post yesterday Jeremy and I discovered at the infertility doctor that each of us has an infertility issue. Wow, I was not expecting that! We already knew a little about what Jeremy's issue was and then we find out that I have the eggs of a 42 year old. I am 30! So I have bad eggs and Jeremy's sperm can not get to them anyways. The doctor told us that IVF treatment is the best thing for us and that we have about a 60% chance of getting pregnant that way. The only thing that got me through that news besides my wonderful supporting and loving husband was knowing that we have this adoption going on. We had already decided that we would not do IVF, we will continue with the adoption and maybe someday we would get pregnant on our own. Although in the back of my mind I know that will never happen. It is a loss that I must grieve. I must give up the idea of ever having our own children and being pregnant. It is so difficult to see so many people pregnant, especially when they did not plan it, or even if they did plan it. Why do things go according to plan for them and not us? I never thought we would be one of "those" couples that can't get pregnant. I never imagined that we would be adopting our first child. I just have to keep trusting in God, but then I get so scared that we will never be able to find a baby and that we paid this agency so much money and 2 years will go by and we will still not have a baby. There are so many amazing families out there that want to adopt a baby. I just want to experience the whole infant and baby thing at least once, and then we will adopt an older child later when we have more space. I know that the only way we will have our "big" family that we always wanted will be through adoption.
Well this was just me getting some of my thoughts out there, I know I need to continue to trust that God has a plan and everything will work out. It is difficult and it is a journey for me, but finding out that we both have infertility issues does help both of us to feel that we are on the right path and even more we feel adoption is for us! Thank you so much to all our friends and family for all the prayers, love and support! We love you all so much!
Well this was just me getting some of my thoughts out there, I know I need to continue to trust that God has a plan and everything will work out. It is difficult and it is a journey for me, but finding out that we both have infertility issues does help both of us to feel that we are on the right path and even more we feel adoption is for us! Thank you so much to all our friends and family for all the prayers, love and support! We love you all so much!