My whole life I had always had a very specific plan. I was in control of my fate. I was raised Christian and was under the impression that the path that I was on was what God wanted me to do, otherwise why would I have such direction and confidence in my decisions. It wasn't until just a few weeks ago that I realized for 30 years of my life I always did what I thought was right and I never really consulted with God. I think I needed to have control over what I could control because growing up I could not control the things that happened to me or the people around me that I loved. I believed that if I did everything I thought was "right" that it would all work out how it was supposed to. I was always the good girl and I stayed focused on what I thought was important. My plan was to go to school, become a teacher, get married, have kids, get a nice house, have money, then when we were financially able to adopt 2 or 3 more kids to complete our family and live happily ever after. Well things have not gone according to my plan. I did all I could to make it happen and it just has not worked out how I thought it was supposed to.
A few months ago my husband and I moved to Anaheim and began looking for a new church home. We checked out quite a few churches and finally found one right across the street from us that we could walk to! We are now attending Saddleback at the Grove here in Anaheim. It is a satellite church of Saddleback in Lake Forest. We love it there, it seems to have everything we were looking for in a church home. Once we started attending something just clicked inside me and I realized that maybe my plans this whole time was my plan and not God's. Maybe God's plan was something totally different than what I had always thought. I decided to let go of my control, which was difficult, but it has also been freeing. I no longer need to stress and worry that things are not going my way. I have decided to fully surrender my life to God and just trust that He will take of us. No, I don't have the job I always dreamed of and when I wanted to have kids it did not happen. When I decided to put it all in God's hands things started moving quickly with adoption. We were accepted into Everlasting Adoptions and we have truly felt God's presence with each decision we have made. Right now we are just riding this crazy wave and completely trusting in God.
I have always had a yearning in my heart for adoption, it has been on my heart my whole life. Now I believe I have had this yearning because God knew who I would be spending my life with and that we may not be able to get pregnant. We have decided not to do any infertility treatments. If it does not happen naturally then I am okay with that, I know that our baby is out there somewhere and he or she needs us. We will find him or her in God's timing. In the mean time we are continuing to pray for wisdom, patience, and guidance. Thank you so much to all of our family and friends for all the love and support. This has been on my heart and I just wanted to share.
Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the plans I have for you," says the Lord. "They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope."
A few months ago my husband and I moved to Anaheim and began looking for a new church home. We checked out quite a few churches and finally found one right across the street from us that we could walk to! We are now attending Saddleback at the Grove here in Anaheim. It is a satellite church of Saddleback in Lake Forest. We love it there, it seems to have everything we were looking for in a church home. Once we started attending something just clicked inside me and I realized that maybe my plans this whole time was my plan and not God's. Maybe God's plan was something totally different than what I had always thought. I decided to let go of my control, which was difficult, but it has also been freeing. I no longer need to stress and worry that things are not going my way. I have decided to fully surrender my life to God and just trust that He will take of us. No, I don't have the job I always dreamed of and when I wanted to have kids it did not happen. When I decided to put it all in God's hands things started moving quickly with adoption. We were accepted into Everlasting Adoptions and we have truly felt God's presence with each decision we have made. Right now we are just riding this crazy wave and completely trusting in God.
I have always had a yearning in my heart for adoption, it has been on my heart my whole life. Now I believe I have had this yearning because God knew who I would be spending my life with and that we may not be able to get pregnant. We have decided not to do any infertility treatments. If it does not happen naturally then I am okay with that, I know that our baby is out there somewhere and he or she needs us. We will find him or her in God's timing. In the mean time we are continuing to pray for wisdom, patience, and guidance. Thank you so much to all of our family and friends for all the love and support. This has been on my heart and I just wanted to share.
Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the plans I have for you," says the Lord. "They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope."